Climate change means we’re going to see more drunk animals
That seems... bad?
The mysterious Oumuamua is farting its way through our solar system
Dude it’s definitely aliens.
Is Amazon violating Europe’s anti-trust laws? Probably!
The internet’s biggest retailer is under investigation.
Jonathan Franzen is fine
Yes, America’s most famous writer made a bad list of rules for novelists. Who cares?
Post Malone is not worth defending
After a negative review of the rapper’s Posty Fest went viral, Post Malone and his dad teamed up to launch a harassment campaign against a journalist.
Did you even realize daylight saving time ended last night?
I, for one, did not.
Don’t let a robot stalk your babysitter
The AI social media-screening service Predictim has a very simple job that it appears to be very bad at.
The worst politician in North Carolina is proud of his gift to Gab
State Senator Dan Bishop authored North Carolina’s notorious anti-trans HB2 “bathroom bill,” tried to rewrite the law so that teachers could arrest their own students, and just so happens to have a $500 stake in the social network that loves racists.
Satan takes the blame for everything
A brief history of Satan and His non-followers.
By Drew Millard
An AI-generated portrait sold for half a million dollars and now I’m terrified of the future
Meet Edmond de Belamy, your new worst nightmare.
Nostalgia for Surge soda is the latest sign of our descent into decadence and decay
We’re riding a green, caffeinated wave into late-Roman Empire territory.
Netflix’s libertarian-fascist corporate culture is a hell no one deserves
The streaming giant weaponizes radical honesty to keep employees performing at the top of their game.
The earth’s magnetic shield is my new favorite noise musician
Listen as it reacts to radiation from a solar storm.
StarKist pleads guilty to charging too much for tuna
And also colluding with other canned seafood companies to keep tuna prices high.
The nation’s student loan debt crisis, mapped
We’re $1.5 trillion dollars in student loan debt, and the only way to get out of it is to take a high-paying job.
Facing mounting criticism from the right, Facebook has quietly ramped up donations to Republican politicians
Newly released FEC data shows that last month, Facebook donated to twice as many Republican campaigns as Democratic ones.
Behold, the national emojis of Finland
The Northern European country would like you to know that it’s the land of snow, socks in sandals, and getting drunk in your underwear.
The super-soldiers of the future might be mentally defective
Movement-enhancing exoskeletons cause soldiers’ bodies to move in ways their brains can’t handle.
Go outside. Now.
You are spending too much time watching Netflix.
Weezer rewrote Jay Z’s “Can’t Knock the Hustle” to be about the sharing economy
You literally cannot make this shit up.
Millions of workers are still feeling the effects of the Great Recession
(And other signs America’s economic recovery is a sham.)
Why can’t I buy the fake Mars dirt?
The University of Central Florida has created dirt that’s exactly like the dirt found on Mars. It costs $20 per kilogram.
It’s scarily easy to convince people to eat bugs
You just have to tell them it’s trendy.
Rideshare pyramid scheme to go public
Yayyo will be the first publicly traded company whose stock symbol is slang for cocaine. On a not completely unrelated note, they once paid Master P to make a song about them.
Kanye won’t go away, but Lil Wayne is thankfully back
Lil Wayne’s comeback album ‘Tha Carter V’ and Kanye’s non-release of ‘Yandhi’ are a reminder of the good and bad of celebrity eccentricity.
Live from the garbage: @trashcanlife is the best worst Twitter feed
Is this performance art? I’m pretty sure this is performance art.
iOS 12 is bad at charging your phone
And also bad at keeping your kid from playing too much Angry Birds.
Cuts to Medicare and Medicaid cause rural hospitals to close
So why can’t the government just cut out the middleman and run rural hospitals itself?
Exclusive: Read 147 pages of complaints about Elon Musk from Tesla investors
‘The Outline’ has obtained dozens of consumer complaints sent to the Securities and Exchange Commission related to Elon Musk tweets that got him charged with securities fraud.
Your smart TV might be mining Monero behind your back
And the NSA is to blame.
Read the FBI’s review of ‘The Anarchist Cookbook’
Spoiler Alert: They didn’t like it.
Ted Cruz does not live on Planet Earth
By attempting to ridicule Beto O’Rourke for his opposition to police brutality, Cruz is inadvertently giving his opponent a valuable platform.
Hangover IV drips aren’t all they’re cracked up to be
The FTC has charged an IV cocktail company with making false claims.
The 2008 bailouts inadvertently laid the groundwork for another financial crisis
We may already be seeing the warning signs.
A history of the internet, as told by maps
Sometimes going to the cutting edge requires reverting to the oldest tools around.
By Drew Millard
Dear Donald Trump, your hurricane vlogs aren’t helping
Sincerely, everyone currently being affected by Hurricane Florence.
This police report on a Kanye listening party is the greatest piece of music journalism ever written
“[She] sped away on a utility cart and I did not see her again for the duration of the event.”
The Postal Service wants to become an ad agency
This is what happens when the government convinces itself it’s a business.
Earth is hell, but space isn’t heaven
Classic NASA art showcases a vision of the future that isn’t exactly inviting.
Unsealed FBI documents detail Roger Stone’s Watergate-era dirty tricks
Stone specialized in undermining Richard Nixon’s opponents on the left.
Government watchdog concludes FEMA wasn’t ready for last year’s hurricane season
Phony Neo-Nazi propaganda may have inspired the Louisiana State Police to investigate Antifa
Either that, or there’s a whole lot of racists in the Louisiana State Police Department.
Snitching-ass startup raises $10 million to privatize the surveillance state
Flock Security is looking to capitalize on suburban fear.
With Return of the Trill, Bun B raps to heal a broken city
The southern hip-hop icon’s new record is dedicated to his hometown of Port Arthur, Texas, as it still struggles to recover from Hurricane Harvey.
Inbred super-pythons are slithering amok in South Florida
Meet the “Florida Man” of reptiles.
There might be constitutional limits to the Space Force
One respected legal scholar is pretty sure America isn’t allowed to unilaterally fight aliens in space.
Stephen Miller owns stock in exactly one company, and that company is Disney
OF COURSE the child-fascist of the Trump administration would be drawn to a company started by a fascist who made entertainment for children.
The New York Public Library is turning classic novels into Instagram Stories
The first title in their initiative is Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.
Bitcoin mining now accounts for almost one percent of the world’s energy consumption
That’s more electricity than it takes to power Ohio or New York State.
Apple might be making us switch cords soon
“These connector inserts may be reliable, have an attractive appearance, and be readily manufactured.”
The government is basically giving away this historic lighthouse
It would honestly be cheaper to buy this thing than a tiny house.
Wait, it only costs $195 a night to stay at Mar-A-Lago?
Does Mar-A-Lago actually suck? (Probably.)
Justice Department: Facebook is a content creator, not a platform
The revolution will not be a status update.
Google wants to help your boss spy on you
Please don’t let this be the future of work.
Need a celebrity endorsement for your bullshit company?
There’s an app for that.
Elon Musk, the new king of debt
Tesla is nearly $10 billion in debt and Elon Musk is buying Tesla stock using loans he got by putting up shares of Tesla stock as collateral. What the hell is going on here?
Nike’s copyright-protection team is basically the cops
The sneaker giant recently worked directly with the NYPD and ICE to bust a bootleg Air Jordan ring.
Thought experiment: What if the meteor that exploded over Greenland was actually the work of aliens?
There is literally zero evidence to suggest this is the case, but it’s a fun possibility to consider.
Why did Elon Musk stash a quarter-billion dollars of Tesla stock in a non-profit back in 2016?
It could be a coincidence, but, uh, it probably isn’t a coincidence.
Peter Saville gave Burberry the same all-caps logo he gave Calvin Klein a year ago
Pop quiz: Which of these logos wasn’t designed by Peter Saville?
The Feds can look at our shit whenever they want
Why a computer scientist whose search history showed he was committing insider trading should make us all concerned about our internet privacy.
The Postal Service is desperately trying to appeal to millennials
But rather than telling advertisers to send coupons to young people, they should probably just turn post offices into banks.
Get a glimpse of futurism that critiqued the future
The Italian radical architecture movement was WILD in the ’70s.
Immerse yourself in Fractal Fantasy’s interactive audiovisual extravaganza
Prepare to have your mind blown straight out of your butt.
Lonely, anxious narcissists are at high risk of Facebook addiction
Yet more evidence that no one should use Facebook ever.
Norman Dawn’s hundred year-old special effects look even more magical today
There was a certain freedom in the days of early film — with no set rulebook to follow, production designers were free to create their own worlds.
You know nothing about your dog
And who are you to even “own” a dog, anyway?
Vintage Russian circus ads are unexpectedly trippy
Prepare to swing off the trapeze of the mind and into... The Twilight Zone.
The FTC has taken Uber‘s money and is giving it to Uber drivers
As it struggles to turn a profit, the ride-sharing service’s legal and public-relations woes are still compounding.
Electric cars were cooler in the ’70s
Eat your heart out, Elon Musk.
Working out in the morning makes you healthier
Working out in the evening makes you happier.
Facebook donates a shit-ton of money to Republicans
Over half of the tech giant’s largest political contributions have gone to the GOP.
Rand Paul is mad as hell about sexed-up, coked-out quails
If Rand Paul were a true Libertarian, he would let the quails fuck in peace.
Dogs might be happier when they’re free
Look at that dog. It is riding a tricycle away from human oppression.
Old cell phones > new cell phones
If nothing else, cell phones used to look way weirder than they do now.
The next few months are going to be hot as shit
The NOAA projects we’re in for an extremely hot next few months, and an even hotter next few years.
New study suggests it’s possible to never die
(As long as you live until you’re 105 and have really good luck after that.)
Big Dogs, welcome to the resistance
The legacy novelty t-shirt company is tired of freakin’ alternative facts!!!
Jordan Belfort’s Facebook page is absolutely baffling
It seems the real-life Wolf of Wall Street has rebranded as the Wolf of SuccessWin Street.
David Lynch has directed some INSANE commercials over the years
Not the rats! Not the rats!!!!
We’ve come up with the wildest ‘Westworld’ conspiracy theory of them all
(The views expressed in this post are a parody of actual ‘Westworld’ conspiracy theories, of which there are many.)
Artist László Zsolt Bordos digitally renders the fragility of memory
His new exhibit is titled, fittingly enough, MEMORIES.
We found the scariest picture of Steve Bannon ever taken
At last, confirmation that Steve Bannon is a military hell-vampire.
Behold, Lebron James and Werner Herzog as one
“We must be alert, and wear our home camouflage shorts so that we are not seen on the court.”
— LeBron “Werner Herzog” James
Play Toilet Tycoon, the game where you literally put your economy in the toilet
After nearly 12 years, this game is still a perfect metaphor for capitalism.
As overall teen tobacco use declines, the proportion of vaping teens rises
Seriously though, if you’re a teenage reader of The Outline, please only put air in your lungs.
Play a wonderfully insane text-based frog simulator
The most beautiful game is Beautiful Frog.
Oh God, they’re putting religion on the blockchain
Is 0xΩ actually a new faith, or is it a warning of the crypto hell that awaits?
Trump lawyer Jay Sekulow is in a legal pissing match with a Satanist
It goes without saying that we’re Team Satan on this one.
The wonders of space, as drawn by Italian schooldren
We spend more time on our phones than ever
And almost six hours a day online.
Read Sean Spicer’s farewell email to the White House staff
Powerful shitheads: They send disingenuous sign-off emails just like the rest of us!
Kanye West isn’t cool again just because he threw a party in the woods
The media’s sharp reversal from burying Kanye to hyping his new album shows how seemingly hard stances can slide into the oblivion of the feed.
A group of Bitcoin nerds are trying to secede from America
Move to Bitcointopia, capital of a made-up country where everything’s on the blockchain and all the cops are drones.
The Department of Defense has used Google products for years
Why are Google’s employees only getting upset about it now?
Scott Pruitt’s EPA is wasting a lot of money while ruining the environment
A new report reveals the number of times the agency has ignored recommendations for saving money and improving public safety.
Look at some trippy, Hubble Telescope-inspired art
Clearly, space art is the best art.
The Intellectual Dark Web goes to Washington
Bret Weinstein got to go in front of Congress and talk to some of the most powerful people in the nation about how he’s being oppressed by woke college kids.
NASA is basically trying to get hacked
Then again, the government could just give NASA the sort of budget they need to develop their own technology, and this problem would no longer exist.
Listen to vintage episodes of the greatest hip-hop radio show of all time
The Stretch Armstrong and Bobbito show lives on in the Internet Archive.
The world’s only pro-gun coffee tastes like burnt dirt
In these fraught times, it is not worth abandoning your political principles for even a sip of Black Rifle Coffee Company’s mediocre, Sean Hannity-endorsed java.
Don’t say Tommy Chong is the face of your weed company unless you’re Tommy Chong
The same week Tommy Chong gave an interview about his weed brand, a company got in trouble with the SEC for pretending to be his weed brand.
How do you fix a broken city?
These might not add up to full-on revolution, but hey, they’re a start.
You can now read thousands of complaints from people who got scammed on Match.com
PSA: It is not normal when your internet crush asks you to wire them money.
Old-School Texas Instruments books are a treasure trove of great graphic design
Love to master the TI-99 with my golden sword.
Cheaper paper won’t fix the news
A new bill proposes fixing our very broken media in the dumbest way possible.
The weirdest Donald Trump story from the Trump Tower hearings
Turns out Donald Trump loves listening to rap songs about himself.
New data suggests America treats the elderly like shit
It’s Mother’s Day. Please call your grandma and tell her how much you love her.
The Rajneeshees have a wild wild response to ‘Wild Wild Country’
“This was a U.S. government conspiracy, from the White House on down, aimed at thwarting Osho’s vision.”
Life at Antarctica’s IceCube lab seems strange and beautiful
And also very, very cold.
America’s landfills may be completely full in just 13 years
We could be headed towards a trash reckoning.
Ken Jennings wants you to buy a duck
The ‘Jeopardy’ champion and author talks about his new book ‘Planet Funny’, how looking things up on our phones changes who we are as people, and what it’s like to lose at trivia to a supercomputer.
A man named Sexy Vegan is running for president
He’s got a face tattoo, wears Speedos in public, and once got kicked off Dr. Phil for using excessive profanity.
The new Robin Hood movie will not be as good as ‘Robin Hood: Men in Tights’
But maybe it will be so bad that Hollywood stops making the same movies over and over again.
Listen to the world’s ambient sounds filtered through Brian Eno’s Oblique Strategies
A psychedlic global tour for your ears.
Someone who is not Elon Musk has trademarked the name “Elon Musk”
For now, the hyper-famous entrepreneur cannot sell t-shirts with his own name on them.
A pair of children’s smartwatch companies are in trouble for spying on kids
Products from Gator and Tinitell have been collecting kids’ data without obtaining parental permission.
America is firing workers faster than it’s hiring them
This hasn’t happened since the Great Recession.
The chocolate industry still relies on child labor
A new report on the ethics of the cocoa supply chain will make you swallow your sweet tooth.
Facebook’s new commercial becomes an anti-Facebook PSA when you add a choir covering “Creep”
Ironically, the cover is from ‘The Social Network’ soundtrack.
These old-school Dutch designs are a nice reminder that living in the future could have sucked less
We could all hanging out in this cool hole in the ground right now!
Here’s an interactive map of all the crimes committed during Coachella Week
In the Palm Springs, festival season is also robbing season.
But have you like, REALLY looked at the earth?
* Hits bong*
Listen to more Method Man
It’s 4/21, the day after 4/20, so you should listen to Method Man’s ‘4:21... The Day After’.
Alabama deserves better than being America’s toilet
Playing host to a train full of New York’s poop was just the latest environmental injustice inflicted upon the state.
Drug tax stamps are a thing
But the only people buying them aren’t drug dealers, they’re stamp collectors.
More like “United Stathes of America”
At last, it’s Jason Statham’s time to shine.
Rest in peace to Art Bell, the man who made the paranormal normal
The iconic host of ‘Coast to Coast A.M.’ died on Friday the 13th.
The public shaming of Mark Zuckerberg
The Facebook founder’s congressional hearings strongly resembled torture techniques straight out of the 1800s.
The Republicans are screwed in the 2018 midterms
And Paul Ryan’s retirement proves it.
See how the opioid crisis has impacted Appalachia
Appalachia, rates of poverty, disability, and education all correlate with overdose rates.
The family dynamic, presented in a never-ending series of pop-up windows
Ryan Kuo’s “Family Maker” denaturalizes the digital.
“Salmonella Kratom” and “Rat Poison K2” are two more reasons to go ahead and legalize weed
Two stories about contaminated batches of grey-market substances show that sometimes, it’s safer to go with the real thing.
Scott Pruitt’s EPA is trying to hobble the entity that’s currently investigating Scott Pruitt
Around the time the EPA’s Office of Inspector General opened up an investigation into Pruit’s lavish travel spending, the EPA started lobbying to reduce the IG’s budget.
Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un should play golf along the DMZ
Thanks to the landmine-lined golf hole at Camp Bonifas, this is actually a thing that could happen.
Please enjoy Guy Fieri’s magical Hawaiian vacation
Flavortown is in your heart.
The Smithsonian’s Burning Man exhibit is awesome...
If you’re a rich tech idiot with no taste.
The government has a Flickr album devoted to giant killer snails
Feast your eyes upon the husks of the shittiest snails in the universe.
Cambridge Analytica is bad, but Palantir is fucking terrifying
With its vehicle tracking software, the company Peter Thiel co-founded knows you ran that red light.
Wait, are we supposed to call Mark Zuckerberg “Mr. ZL” now?
Zuck has officially broken new ground in the field of public self-shaming.
Pets have been dying on United Airlines flights for years
It took a dog dying in an overhead compartment for the airline to decide to do something about it.
Achieve your dream of looking at a 3D pizza on your phone
And while you’re at it, feast your eyes on a 3D donut. And a 3D loaf of bread.
Nobody wants to listen to Spotify’s “self-driving music”
Instead, they just want to see the names of the people who made the damn song.
The military isn’t ready for war in space
So it might start a fund to invest in private space companies.
Pro golfers are gigantic babies
The P.G.A. has a real-life trolling problem that it’s only making worse.
What’s up with all the buried treasure lately?
The earth has grown tired of hosting our puny yellow rocks.
An extremely pointless law is about to ban public officials from spending taxpayer money on paintings of themselves
It’s called — wait for it — the “EGO Act.”
Further proof that Scientology is extremely lame
Nobody gives a shit about your Instagram “epic art wall,” dude.
Friendly reminder, there’s a bunch of extremely cool NASA stuff on the Internet Archive
Also, sorry in advance for sending you into an internet black hole.
Connecticut has declared war on coyotes
But the state’s proposal to allow night hunting of the animals just might make its coyote problem worse.
Sadly, Martin Shkreli didn’t get scammed into paying $2 million for a fake Wu-Tang Clan album
But happily, Martin Shkreli now has to give up the only copy of a real Wu-Tang Clan album that he paid $2 million for!
Uber is contesting the MIT study that found their drivers make less than minimum wage before taxes
But they’re not talking about how Uber encourages its drivers to declare a loss on those taxes.
A new court ruling could provide more protection for the homeless
A Washington state judge has found that if you live in your car, then your car is your home, and that the police can’t impound your home.
Silicon Valley now thinks starving yourself will make you more productive
Cold showers, too.
Sorry Barbra Streisand, it’s weird to clone your dog
Cloning your dead pet only sets you up for disappointment.
The NRA is just openly trolling at this point
They would like you to know that they are extremely Not Mad; however, they are in fact Very Mad.
The aliens will probably think we’re too dumb to kill
This is existentially comforting when you think about it.
An ambient sound app is using archival audio to plug you back into nature
The Environments app takes the legendary field recordings of Irv Teibel and presents them in the chillest possible context.
Trump Organization execs are holed up in Trump Tower Panama shredding documents
Facing eviction and trailed by allegations of money laundering, a group of Trump Hotel executives are physically barring the hotel’s ownership group from kicking them out.
The political power of doubt
We live in a state of anger and confusion over exactly what Russia did or didn’t do to get Donald Trump elected. That might just be exactly what they were going for.
Artifact-sniffing dogs are coming to stop you from selling that sacred statue
If you're a drug dog who happens to be reading our site right now, maybe consider changing careers?
If the Space Tesla crashes into the Earth, Elon Musk should have to clean it up
Over the next million years, there’s a six percent chance that the Tesla launched into the solar system will come back and hit the planet. That's low, but it’s still way too high.
Alaska runs on bear shit
New research suggests that seeds spread by defecating bears are vital to the Alaskan ecosystem.
In 2016, “Putin’s chef” tried to erase himself from the Russian internet. Then he was indicted by Robert Mueller.
The Russian oligarch Yevengy Prigozhin sued to de-index news stories about his connection to a Russian “troll farm” just as the company was stepping up its attempts to interfere in the 2016 election.
Red Gerard makes me feel okay about the future
Last night, the 17-year-old became America’s first gold medalist at the PyeongChang Olympics.
Takashi Miike has made over 100 movies and still feels lazy
The prolific Japanese director discusses the nature of creativity and the power of play.
This Valentine’s Day, surprise your bog love with a time hug
These neural network-generated candy heart messages are lovably insane.
Every time you forget your password an angel gets its wings
Sitting by as all of the passwords slowly leak out of my brain has been strangely liberating.
All I need in this life of sin...
Is my AlphaSmart 3000.
The Instagram piano man
Instagram is the best social network, because that is the one that hip-hop producer Scott Storch posts videos of himself playing piano on.
The schlubbiest bad boy in golf
Pat Perez is a wine-swilling, meme-friendly sensation... who also loves Trump.
We believe Tom DeLonge, who quit blink-182 to prove aliens exist
Proof that the truth is out there is more important than pop-punk.