StarKist pleads guilty to charging too much for tuna
Last week, the Justice Department announced that StarKist, purveyor of the canned seafood you eat when you don’t have anything left in your pantry, will plead guilty for its role in an industry-wide price-fixing scheme. In a court filing, prosecutors alleged that StarKist conspired with “other major packaged-seafood-producing firms [...] to fix, raise, and maintain the prices of packaged seafood sold in the United States.”
On one hand, StarKist has done way worse stuff than artificially inflating its prices — this is the company that once put a million cans of rancid fish on store shelves and didn’t stop killing dolphins until 1990, after all — but on the other hand, this is some meme-worthy-ass news so let’s roll with it.
According to the New York Times, StarKist and its chief competitor Thai Union Frozen Products agreed to maintain their current prices of canned tuna despite the fact that the price of raw tuna had fallen. When tuna is cheap, you can buy more tuna than usual. And when you have more tuna than usual, then you might just have....
Anyways, please watch this video of Nick Kroll and John Mulaney as the Too Much Tuna guys, giving someone too much tuna. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.