Side Note

Hangover IV drips aren’t all they’re cracked up to be

Because I learned everything I know about rich people from the show Billions and I’m a season behind, I didn’t find out that rich people who like to drink get IV drips to deal with their hangovers until a few weeks ago when I watched that one episode when Wags starts getting hangover IV’s at his desk because he’s been partying way too much. As a person who hates needles, I find the concept horrifying; as a person who believes hangovers are a just reward having too much fun, I find them unnatural.

As with any wellness-related fad designed to vacuum money out of your bank account, it turns out hangover IV’s are — surprise! — kind of a scam. Earlier this week, the Federal Trade Commission announced that they’d charged iV Bars Incorporated, which offers vitamin-rich IV drips to any dummy with a hundred bucks who happens to be in Texas or Colorado, with making false claims about their product’s health benefits. Which is to say, iV Bars had been trying to claim that by getting shot up with oodles of vitamins and shit could, per the FTC, “treat serious diseases such as cancer, multiple sclerosis, and congestive heart failure.” Additionally, iV Bars “claimed that their iV Cocktails produced fast, lasting results, and in many instances, were more effective and better-tolerated than conventional medical therapies.”

While the iV Bars website no longer features such outlandish claims, it still offers an array of IV treatments, including drips for people doing extreme sports (“Performance Enhancer,” $175 per IV); people who want to focus (“Brain Power,” $$225 per IV); and people who want to do sex good (“Passion,” $175 per IV).