While browsing the internet the other day, I came across the work of Porpentine Charity Heartscape, an Oakland-based writer, artist, and designer of what she refers to as “cursed videogames.” Most importantly for the purposes of this little blog post, she is the creator of Beautiful Frog, which is officially my new favorite game.

The concept of this text-based game is simple. You have been given a frog by the world. You must care for it, giving it simple commands and hoping that your frog will fulfill its potential in life and do all a frog was meant to do. It gets very bizarre, very quickly.

After adjusting the settings to stave off the inevitability of frog death, my frog, Gugget, spent several years training his jumping skills before losing his nerve and giving up. He then began singing, and somehow got bitten by a vampire and then became a vampire?

Then things got even weirder. The game told me, “You offer blood to Gugget, knowing you are making a sacrifice for a far superior lifeform.” Gugget then proceeded to grow antlers before being “staked by a vampire hunter frog at the age of 15.”

I will never forget you, Gugget. I learned so much about frogs, life, and the life of frogs during our short time together.

In closing, if you only have time to play one avant-garde text-based frog simulator today, make sure that avant-garde text-based frog simulator is Beautiful Frog.