Culture

The beginner’s guide to ‘Star Wars’ slash fiction

Which pairings do horny fans want to see most?

Culture

The beginner’s guide to ‘Star Wars’ slash fiction

Which pairings do horny fans want to see most?
Culture

The beginner’s guide to ‘Star Wars’ slash fiction

Which pairings do horny fans want to see most?

There’s plenty to talk about with the impending release of Solo: A Star Wars Story — whether the movie be any good following a long, tortured creative process, whether there will be any sequels, whether Harrison Ford was not-so-subtly broadcasting his displeasure with the whole thing by not showing up at the Los Angeles premiere. But another contingent of Star Wars fans is discovering something new: There’s a lot of people who want Han Solo and fellow smuggler Lando Calrissian to hook up. Like, a lot. As one angry YouTuber put it in a video: “These ignoramus fans, pushing for this? To destroy Lando’s character that’s what they’re hoping for.”

Little do they know that slash fiction, or fan-fiction that involves a romance between two characters of the same sex, has a long, rich history, particularly with the Star Wars franchise. (It’s a natural extension of “shipping,” the term for non-canonical relationships advocated for by fans.) When you search “Luke Skywalker/Han Solo” on Archive of Our Own, a popular fan-fiction forum, you get more than 1,000 results. For “Finn/Poe Dameron,” you get more than 10 thousand.

Instead of having you sift through the scary world of fan-generated Star Wars content created by the horniest people alive, we’re going to explain some of the biggest ships in the Star Wars Universe, to guide you on your journey to a galaxy far, far away.

Han Solo + Lando Calrissian

When Han Solo and Lando Calrissian first meet up in Empire Strikes Back, it’s obvious the two have history. What that history is, other than gambling and a smuggling operation, we don’t know — but when Lando turns Han and the gang over to Boba Fett, the sense of betrayal is fairly acute. Then, there’s that unexplained scene at the end of Empire where Lando is wearing Han’s clothes, which only fans the theories.

When you see Alden Ehrenreich, who plays Han in Solo, and Donald Glover, who plays Lando, on screen together, it’s not hard to imagine how a rabid fan could get a little carried away. They’re both hot, and carry themselves with that rogue-ish, playboy attitude embodied by Ford and Billy Dee Williams in the original Star Wars trilogy. They’re gun-slinging outlaws with nothing to prove — but space is gigantic, and lonely, and even gun-slinging outlaws need some warmth in their lives. You know they’re both used to loving and leaving.

As seen in Friends & Lovers, by mistr3ssquickly:

Lando was a virgin the first time Han slept with him, a fact he lets slip, confirming Han’s suspicions years after the fact, drunk on too much good Corellian ale and the lingering rush of victory rich on the smoke permeating the warm night air on Endor’s moon, blurring everything around them. A younger man at the time, still learning the ins and outs of the electric-hot darkness of the smuggling world, he’d been a handsome face and a smooth voice conveying a heady mix of natural talent and novice hesitation when Han slid into the stool beside him in some seedy pub in the middle of nowhere, drawing and holding his attention with little more than a crooked smile and a dose of swaggering confidence, Lando clearly flattered and surprised by the attention Han gave him.

Finn + Poe Dameron

Fans of this shipping have been so absolutely persistent about making it a reality, it’s easy to forget that it isn’t actually canon. Even the actors that play them, John Boyega and Oscar Isaac, have voiced their support. The evidence is fairly explicit: The bromance between Finn and Poe is very real, from when they first meet at the beginning of The Force Awakens. And of course there’s the jacket — how could I forget about Poe’s jacket that Finn wears the whole movie, after Poe is presumed dead?

“No, keep it,” Poe says, when they reunite in the movie. “It suits you.” Then, he gives him this look. Rebels lashed together through the pressures of fighting a war against fascists — who could blame them?

As seen in Have you Heard, by peradi:

The first mission that Finn goes on is one of rescue. It's fitting. Before he leaves, Poe kisses him long and sweet deep and tells him the story of his first meeting, a story of subterfuge and spying, hunting for information. "You're the patron saint of revolution," he says, staring at Finn with such love that Finn shivers. "You go and set them free, d'you hear me? You go look after them."

Han Solo + Luke Skywalker

It’s not hard to understand why Han Solo is the subject of so many shippings. He’s arguably the hottest Star Wars character, at least according to these absolutely scientific lists on the internet. And then there’s that pivotal scene in Empire Strikes Back where Han saves the day and rescues Luke from hypothermia by cutting open a dead Tauntaun and stuffing Luke inside of its belly.

Who knows? Maybe there were other ways to get warm other than sleeping inside a decaying alien creature. The dynamic — wizened romantic veteran and wide-eyed naif — has an evergreen appeal. Why do you think so many people liked Call Me By Your Name?

As seen in Right Half the Time, by fabrega:

A client pulls Luke aside in the docking bay as they're going to leave and expresses concern about the Falcon's spaceworthiness, and Luke's first reaction is knee-jerk defensiveness instead of sympathetic understanding. That's my home, he thinks, and is pleased to realize he's done so. Han comes down the Falcon's ramp, trailing his fingers along the Falcon's underside as he exits the ship, and Luke is a little worried by how strongly that feeling intensifies.

Kylo Ren + Armitage Hux

If you like bad boys, then this is the pairing for you. Kylo, so misunderstood and angsty, looking for love and friendship in all the wrong places. Hux, completely serious all the time. There’s a lot of tension, both vying for the top spot at Snoke’s side. Couldn’t they put on some Depeche Mode and get to it, in the cold of space? There’s also a scene where Kylo chokes Hux with the Force, a scenario that’s launched a thousand BDSM fanfictions.

As seen in Under the Ruins of a Walled City, by hollycomb:

Hux closes his eyes and wonders if Ren could reach him here, through the Force. He shakes his head when the idea terrifies him. He needs to be alone with his thoughts and fears if he has any hope of being more than Ren’s battered little charge again. Ren nearly ruined him, but even Ren’s power combined with Snoke’s couldn’t bring Hux down, not entirely. He opens his eyes again and stares at his reflection.