Power

Trump and Macron are the world’s worst best friends

A state visit that included ice cream, kisses, and more ice cream showed there are a few things the odd couple agree on.

Power

Washington, D.C.

Donald Trump and French President Emmanuel Macron: just two guys and they’re having fun.

Power

Trump and Macron are the world’s worst best friends

A state visit that included ice cream, kisses, and more ice cream showed there are a few things the odd couple agree on.

Is it just me, or are the unlikeliest of friendships the ones that end up being the most profound?

Felix and Oscar.

Bert and Ernie.

This adorable orangutan and his French bulldog pal.

Now we can add a new partnership to the pantheon of illustrious odd couples: U.S. President Donald Trump and French President Emmanuel Macron.

To be sure, the two have their differences. For example, they’ve disagreed about climate change, international trade, the Iran nuclear deal, globalism, Vladimir Putin, the 2017 French presidential election, and basically everything else to do with anything about the world. But a handful of trivial disagreements should never drive a wedge between two true friends, as has been demonstrated from the moment they met at a NATO summit last year. At first, Macron seemed to play hard-to-get, emphatically veering away from the U.S. commander-in-chief and warmly embracing his arch frenemy Angela Merkel instead. Trump countered by treating Macron to his patented herky-jerky handshake — the first of many frisky arm wrestling competitions between the nuclear-capable super-buddies.

Donald Trump and Emmanuel Macron in France during Bastille Day celebrations last year.

Donald Trump and Emmanuel Macron in France during Bastille Day celebrations last year.

Clearly, Macron was so taken by Trump’s playful aggression that he invited him over to France for Bastille Day last year. The French president knew exactly how to entertain his American counterpart: an elegant dinner of filet de boeuf and ice cream at the top of the Eiffel Tower, followed by a flamboyant display of big-ass tanks and fast-ass fighter jets. Needless to say, Trump was charmed — though apparently not charmed enough to capitulate in any meaningful way on major policy disputes.

This week it was Trump’s turn to play host. After wandering around the National Mall for a few hours on Monday, Macron arrived at Trump’s front doorstep and showed his gratitude with a couple affectionate power-pecks on his chum’s ruddy cheeks. Macron’s ingratiation didn’t stop there: shortly after his arrival, he and Trump walked out to the backyard and tossed some ceremonial dirt on a barren, twiggy sapling that Macron had dug up from a musty old battlefield in France. Afterwards they celebrated their reunion at George Washington’s historic man cave with Dover sole and more ice cream.

Tuesday was a testier day for the normally convivial pair. All morning and afternoon, in front of cameras and behind closed doors, they engaged in a brotherly row over their petty sticking points. Macron argued for upholding the Iran deal in the name of global stability, while Trump called the deal “insane” and “ridiculous” before threatening Iran with “severe consequences.” Macron asserted that honoring existing trade agreements between the U.S. and Europe makes the most sense because “it's good to work together when you are allies,” while Trump defended his push for new tariffs and insisted that the European Union has been “very unfair for a long time.” In spite of their completely unresolved disagreements, Trump had enough good humor in his jolly heart to assure reporters that their fond rapport was in fact “not fake news,” before courteously brushing away what he claimed was dandruff on Macron’s shoulder.

The evening restored all mirth to their platonic romance when Trump threw a classy state dinner in Macron’s honor. Each gentleman toasted the other with gushing pleasantries before digging into their racks of spring lamb and still more ice cream.

Regrettably, Macron departs Washington on Wednesday following a speaking engagement on Capitol Hill, thus concluding the finest chapter yet of a long history of cozy Franco-American friendship tracing all the way back to Benjamin Franklin and Marquis de Lafayette. But as they say: Loin des yeux, près du cœur.

Even more regrettably for Trump, he’ll be forced to endure a visit from German Chancellor Angela Merkel later this week. Unfortunately the two have struggled to get along—but to be fair, it’s hard to be friends with someone who disagrees with you about almost everything.