The Outline
Casey Johnston
I’m Upset: “Eating healthy” is too much work
I have experienced the benefits of healthy eating and I cannot believe I must keep this up for the rest of my life.
Is $1,300 the price I can put on happiness?
That’s how much it costs to purchase a Bird scooter that could be stolen at any moment.
Forget AirPods: Buy the cheapest Bluetooth earbuds you can find
AirPods die fast, and so do all the headphones like them. Trust no Bluetooth earbud.
Facebook is trying to make the word “private” meaningless
The company doesn't need to read your messages to keep collecting data about you.
Holzhauer may have proved everyone has been playing Jeopardy backwards
Starting with the $1,000-2,000 clue doesn’t just get quick money; it helps lock in the more valuable $200-800 clues. Stay with me.
Watching this chimp use Instagram like a bored teen makes me feel bad
There is something so sinister about how chimps and babies know how to use iPhones, and even the World Health Organization feels it.
Apple owes everyone an apology and it should start with me, specifically
Its butterfly keyboard design has failed, but Apple has yet to substantially admit that it has made a very big mistake.
The worst weather is wind
You might think it’s other weather. You would be wrong.
Wow, what a revelation to have a representative give a shit about climate change
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s holding conservatives to account over their snide attitude toward climate change is the only way forward.
Rich parents are Photoshopping their disappointing kids
Dozens of parents, college faculty and staff, and co-conspirators have been indicted for faking their kids’ way through the admissions process.
The Rock has made a new sport. Thank you, The Rock
‘The Titan Games,’ The Rock’s new physical-feat competition show on NBC, demonstrates to me how badly the world is in need of new sports.
How long could my murderer pretend to be me online?
A crime drama TV show raises some questions for me personally about the way we live alone.
Why is my Gmail suddenly full?
And why do I have to pay to make this problem go away?
Manchester WeWorkers are pissed they can’t get pissed for free anymore
Notes from the edge of our permalance coworking future.
Welcome to the walled garden, we’ve got phones and games
In July, Apple was on its way to becoming the first U.S. company worth a trillion dollars by betting on a system everyone said would keep it small.
Please leave me alone about the Instant Pot
I’m sure you love yours. Well I’m not really, but nonetheless
The site pushing Facebook’s pet causes sure is doing well on Facebook
Interesting.
You have to work out now, I’m sorry I don’t make the rules
In particular, adults have to lift weights or do resistance training twice a week /chugs protein shake
Are you a good person who works in tech? Walk out
The government is useless and there is not a feasible way for two billion people to extricate themselves from Facebook. You know who has bargaining power? Workers.
I need TV that lets me fall asleep
Not prestige drama, not mindless reality, but something somewhere in the middle.
Skipping your flu shot is selfish
Even if you’re not at risk of dying, you can still get other people sick.
Crowdfunding funneled $6.8 million to unsupported medical treatments
Patients are targeted by doctors who offer relief with procedures that are not backed up by research, and even dangerous, if only they can locate the funds outside of their insurance.
See how grotesque Jeff Bezos’ fortune is in this choose-your-own-adventure game
‘You Are Jeff Bezos’ is a game that illustrates in detail the truly appalling amount of wealth people are allowed to amass and then just keep to themselves.
MoviePass, which never made sense, is under investigation
The New York State attorney general has opened a probe into MoviePass’s parent company to see whether it misled investors. I don’t know, maybe?
The new and improved MacBook keyboards have the same old problems
Many users continue to report stuck keys; maybe it’s time for other companies to stop looking to Apple for design cues.
Kanye West, change your phone passcode right this second
000000??????
Yeet me to the moonmoon
Moons can have moons, and climate change deniers have this planet, and I wish we could get out of here.
It’s not in anyone’s interest to admit whether China hacked us
‘Bloomberg Businessweek’ reported mass surveillance by the Chinese army, and everyone, including Apple and Amazon, denies it. What else would anyone do?
If men had to get IUDs, they’d get epidurals and a hospital stay
Insertions of the best method of birth control can be blindingly painful during and after, but all women get is a single over-the-counter painkiller. Why?
Here is a 10-minute loop of Lady Gaga belting the best part of the A Star Is Born song
We’re far from the shallow now.
Even the people who profited the most from Facebook hate Facebook
The founders of Instagram quit, and the founders of WhatsApp regret selling, and Facebook’s greed is at the root of it all.
Apple can delete purchased movies from your library without telling you
Turns out cloud storage is not all it’s cracked up to be.
How to not get raped on a Tinder date, according to the app’s CEO
The new HBO documentary “Swiped” has some useful tips for women.
Info Spiral: What are the teens doing?
A difficult-to-follow story, in convenient capsule form.
By Casey Johnston
Healthy versions of your favorite candy are coming, and they are abominations
If you take out the sugar and add fiber and make it guiltless, is it still a treat?
Did my two friends save each other from getting struck by lightning?
An investigation.
By Casey Johnston
The self-driving car that will never arrive
Self-driving cars are delusional tech optimism rooted in greed, sorry
How small women’s pockets are, visualized
Why do brands hate women?
If you tweet like a bot you should still get banned
“Being too online” gets a bot deleted, and real people need that smackdown, too.
Twitter needs an “undo” button
Editing tweets is too much, but we need to create some space for self-reflection in this content tornado.
The online status indicator is dead
Instagram: stop snitching.
Only by 4 a.m., when it cools down, can we sleep.
South Asian cities are already feeling the effects of our climate-changed world.
Science says get out of your dead-end relationship
People (and mice, and rats) over-value sunk costs in their decision-making processes. Time for us to value the future more.
Everyone’s favorite houseplant only wants to die
Is your pothos here for any of this? An investigation.
By Casey Johnston
Apple admits its computers are broken
Eight months after a surge of complaints, Apple announced a repair program for its flawed MacBooks and MacBook Pros.
I recommend a Wi-Fi plug for your air conditioner
Mostly the future is bad but sometimes it’s cool.
“Revolutionary” gene editing tool may increase cancer risk
Two new studies find CRISPR may have unintended side effects.
Apple’s new product features are an admission of guilt
The company knows your addiction to its devices is making you miserable.
Apple knew its computers were “defective,” sold them anyway, suit alleges
A class action suit has been filed against Apple over the keyboards in its laptops.
How much we love fake news, visualized
Of course, this post being true, it will do no traffic. No matter; I will die poor and right.
A no-bullshit guide to Google I/O 2018
We give you the good, the bad, and the ugly from Google's developer conference.
I’m excited to outsource every difficult conversation to my Google Assistant
Google’s natural-sounding AI will make all your appointments, and so much more.
Facebook could make a separate Fake News Feed if it felt like it
It just doesn’t want to.
Which Condé Nast brands does Apple allegedly want to buy?
If Apple becomes a publisher, maybe it will finally be cool again.
Don’t buy the MacBook Pros even on sale, in my opinion
I sold mine back to Apple. Yes, that bad.
Here is how a penis transplant works
Surgeons have completed the first “total penis and scrotum transplant.”
If you just message “hi” and nothing else I assume I’m getting fired
My boss is trying to give me a heart attack.
The Impossible burger makes a fine bad burger
It will easily replace meat as an ingredient, but not meat itself.
Where is your data? Who knows
Data doesn’t get tracked, so once it’s off Facebook, honestly who knows where it gone.
Social media needs more awkward silences
Facebook needs to learn to read the room.
Boxed mac and cheese: now with protein
Foods are seizing a cultural moment, and Ancient Harvest POW! White Cheddar Shells is one of them.
I, too, think Snapchat is over, personally
Truly an accomplishment in this day and age to burn out rather than fade away.
Cambridge Analytica’s leak shouldn’t surprise you, but it should scare you
Facebook is not alone in making everyone’s data available for whatever purpose.
World Dispatch: Behind every strong female film character is Junkie XL
This Dutch composer has created the themes for characters including Wonder Woman, Furiosa from ‘Mad Max’, and Lara Croft of ‘Tomb Raider.’ He spoke with us on today’s Outline World Dispatch.
The Tinder struggle, visualized
One Reddit user created a graphic to show how many matches actually turned into dates.
Drone discovers 1.5 million penguins chilling on a few tiny islands
Nice eye, drone.
Tinder is not actually for meeting anyone
We’ve done the math on Tinder… and it doesn’t look good
The new MacBook keyboard is ruining my life
It’s so bad
