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In the beginning, it all seemed good. Drake walked up on the stage holding the award, and Rihanna emerged from the back of the VMAs set wearing a glorious Alexandre Vauthier ball gown. Drake was cheesing the whole time Rihanna approached. Who can blame him? I’d have fainted in the same situation. But like every fuckboy you ever knew in high school, Drake couldn’t go one minute without making the whole thing corny and awkward. He starts bowing and gesturing at Rihanna, wasting more time than necessary.

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\nGet on with it, Aubrey....
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From there, it’s just a cascade of awkward moments courtesy of the self-described “Champagne Papi.” Multiple times, he motions to her like she’s a luxury car on display. At one point he displays a photo of his face superimposed on Rihanna’s body. She mercifully takes it all in stride, hiding her discomfort behind shows of giggling and a dab that at once communicated ease and insinuated a shade of “Get a load of this corny-ass dude.”

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Go on

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And then, Drake took it too far. \n

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She’s someone I’ve been in love with since I was 22 years old.

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Drake

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oh god

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help...

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We know now that that moment made Rihanna supremely uncomfortable. But back then, all I knew was that Drake was making me uncomfortable. His public declaration of love in a moment that was supposed to be about Rihanna, in a situation where she could not freely react, was a page right out of the international fuckboy handbook.

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To top it all off, Drake thought his little performance was going to get him a romantic kiss from Rihanna. After she graciously embraced him, he tried to make their friendly kiss something more, going in to nuzzle her neck in what is perhaps the most awkward moment that has ever happened on the VMAs stage.

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That now-infamous awards show moment is a great primer on how not to treat someone you’re into. Don’t put them on a pedestal. Don’t put them on blast. Don’t try to steal their limelight when it’s their time to shine. And most of all, don’t do any of these things when your crush is Rihanna. Not only will she swerve you, but she’ll probably be forced to do it on the international stage.

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It’s too late for Drake. But when it comes to our own non-famous crushes, there’s hope for the rest of us.

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We don’t have a friendship now, but we’re not enemies either. It is what it is.

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Rihanna, in 2018

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Culture

17 cards

The swerve heard around the world

Rihanna says she’s no longer friends with Drake. Maybe this is why.

1/17

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