The Future

Kanye West, change your phone passcode right this second

000000??????

The Future

000000
Kanye’s iPhone passcode.
The Future

Kanye West, change your phone passcode right this second

000000??????

Kanye West went to the White House today, which I don’t care to talk about, except for two things: 1) he typed in his phone passcode for all of creation to see, 2) that passcode was 000000.

Look — no one will openly admit to it, but I suspect, conservatively, 99 percent of humans have absolutely shit passwords. Most of us are still doing some variation on “password,” or a dead pet’s name. I have privately admitted to a few people that, before switching to using 1Password, my system was to have a few core stock templates of passwords and using small variations on them when using the stock version seemed too risky — “antel0pe” instead of “antelope,” for instance.

This was eminently stupid of me, not least because I could never remember which variation went where and ended up doing the whole "forgot password" dance a hundred times a day, but also because when I finally caved and put all my logins into 1Password, I realized there are 448 of them I was trying to hold in my brain. This is largely attributable to how most websites won’t even let you look at the homepage without giving your email, and then they want you to just make a password real quick, and then get your zip code just real quick, and before you know it they are emailing you ten times a day about, I don’t know, jeans being 15 percent off because they tracked your credit card to see you looked at jeans on a different website earlier that day. This is all to say, password fatigue is understandable.

None of this really matters because you can’t usefully store a phone passcode in 1Password, but my dude doesn’t use Face ID? Doesn’t use Touch ID? (Sure you don’t want the government to have your face and fingerprints, but… you’re Kanye West.) Can’t use that alphanumeric keyboard, at least, for a password of letters and characters? Kanye is all of us etc etc but… man. Surely Kanye can do anything he wants, including call slavery a choice, but it doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences for doing those things. Swift, unmerciful, justified consequences.

Remember that time his cousin stole his laptop and held it hostage for hundreds of thousands of dollars for the homemade porn he found on there? Perhaps that was not the learning experience I think I would have expected it to be. I wonder what the password was.

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