Side Note

The latest conservative cause is getting pissed off about animal crackers

In the grand scheme of things, the PETA-lobbied redesign of the Nabisco Barnum’s Animals Crackers box is purely symbolic. The now-discontinued cracker box design, largely unchanged since the ‘20s, featured circus animals — like lions, gorillas, and elephants — in adult-baby pairs behind bars on a circus train car. The new one shows a zebra, an elephant, a lion, and a giraffe walking together, free, on a savannah.

Animal rights activists have had great successes in recent years in getting cruel animal treatment banned from circuses, zoos, and elsewhere, and their work continues whether or no matter what the packaging of this children’s snack looks like. Nevertheless, animal crackers have to keep up with the times, and people in these times are still queasy from watching Blackfish and The Cove. As a spokesperson from Nabisco’s parent company Mondelez International told The New York Times, “To continue to make the brand relevant for years to come, we felt this was the right time for the next evolution in our design, now showing the animals in a natural habitat.”

Personally, I’ve never been partial to the taste of animal crackers, but what I do find nicely sweet is the unreasoned freakouts from random anti-new box, lib-owning conservatives online. As usual, Twitter is aflutter with angry denouncements of the new packaging, which, let’s face it, is several degrees less depressing than the old box and features, as some have pointed out, a very chill giraffe.

Nabisco’s Facebook page has been hit particularly hard by supposed former fans who are angrily disappointed that the company has succumbed to PETA’s tyrannical demands.

Comments on Nabisco's Facebook page.

Comments on Nabisco's Facebook page.

Comments on Nabisco's Facebook page.

Comments on Nabisco's Facebook page.

The ire has moved beyond social media, however, even trickling onto commerce sites where people who ordered crackers expecting boxes with caged animals on them were instead greeted with free, happy animals.

Amazon comments on a listing for Barnum's Animals Crackers.

Amazon comments on a listing for Barnum's Animals Crackers.

Nonsensical politics aside, many complainers explain that their anger is rooted in childhood nostalgia. It isn’t just about the liberals: An iconic part of their and their children's’ upbringing is changing, and that’s upsetting. I get it. On the other hand, everything, even corporate branding, changes. It’s no use being irate; just sit back and have an animal-shaped cookie.