Side Note

Jared Leto is back on his bullshit

One minute, Jared Leto is a doe-eyed teen heartthrob, and then he’s a critically-acclaimed actor, and then he’s a carefree rockstar, and then he’s a rockstar who somehow cares too much. Leto contains multitudes, and all of them are hitting the promotional trail hard in order to sell America, the new album by his band 30 Seconds to Mars.

Following in the newfound tradition of people aching to discover what America is “made of,” Leto recently took to The Tonight Show to announce that he is hitchhiking across the country to gain some insight. So far, his America photo ops have included singing on the subway in New York, singing at the top of a building in Chicago, singing on the street in Austin, and “hitchiking” out of Illinois with a trucker.

On top of that, Leto is handing out genetic testing kits so people can explore their ancestry. “Ultimately we’re 99.5% genetically similar + 100% American. Small town, big town, everything in between... we’re all connected,” reads a 30 Seconds to Mars tweet from April 2.

On top of that, Leto recently joked on Instagram that he would shave his beard if the album reaches No. 1, alongside a shirtless, short beard glamor shot.

On top of that the band is promoting the album with a series of faux-deep, cryptic posters listing things that make up America. You know: Bitcoin, Kylie, trans fats, and the NSA.

And on top of that, everyone west of Illinois must now live with the possibility that Leto could pop up at any time.

I’m into my second decade of knowing who Jared Leto is, but I still don’t know who Jared Leto is or where I am supposed to expect him. At least I know who he is genetically.