’Tis the season to be jolly, but ’tis also the season of feeling pressured to begin a short-lived, kind-of-meaningful-but-not-really relationship with someone, which you will end promptly after the Spring equinox. The combination of cold weather and seasonal affective disorder may have you craving somebody to love, meaning cuffing season is upon us, folks. I know it, you know it, and deep down in her tiny heart, even Ann Coulter knows it, too.
We singles live empty lives of quiet desperation and will die alone. Now Rubio is demanding that we also fund happy families with children who fill their days with joy.— Ann Coulter (@AnnCoulter) December 15, 2017
It’s likely that Coulter was being facetious, but it’s also possible that Coulter is lonely. Stars — They’re just like us! Coulter was responding to Marco Rubio’s threat to vote against the Republican tax bill unless it includes an expansion of the child tax credit for working families. “I can’t in good conscience support it unless we are able to increase [the child tax credit], and there’s ways to do it, and we’ll be very reasonable about it,” Rubio told The Washington Post on Thursday. It seems that Rubio got his way — Axios reported Friday afternoon that the final version of the bill will enhance the child tax credit.
Rubio isn’t the only Republican encouraging Americans to have more kids. On Wednesday, House Speaker Paul Ryan called the U.S.’s decreasing birth rate a “new economic challenge.”
“People, baby boomers are retiring,” Ryan told reporters at a press conference. “I did my part, but, you know, we need to have higher birth rates in this country, meaning baby boomers are retiring and we have fewer people following them into the workforce.”
Ryan’s message to the American people was simple: Make more babies. (But not if you’re poor, since he wants slash spending for social services including Medicaid, which provides coverage to more than 70 million low-income people, and the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, which helps feed than 20 million American children.) Coulter also hates these programs — she once said welfare creates “generations of utterly irresponsible animals” — so she would presumably be financially able to afford raising a family even after Congressional Republicans gut social welfare programs.
To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with not wanting or having children, especially since no one knows how close we are to living in a Day After Tomorrow-esque climate dystopia. There’s also nothing wrong with being single. Though it seems like she was joking, Coulter’s tweet suggests something is missing from her life of “quiet desperation,” even if she isn’t ready to admit it. If Coulter wants a child, she could always have a baby or adopt a child who needs a home. Then again, she also appears to have a problem with single mothers.