Side Note

Teens smoked because of movies, and they vape because of Vine

The teens won’t stop vaping and the FDA is freaking out.

In an official statement on the very serious, not at all funny, Vaping Crisis of 2018, FDA Commissioner Scott Gottlieb said “We understand, by all accounts, many of them may be using products that closely resemble a USB flash drive, have high levels of nicotine and emissions that are hard to see. These characteristics may facilitate youth use, by making the products more attractive to children and teens.”

I’m not sure what kind of extra-long USB flash drives they’re using over at the FDA, but I’m guessing they must be custom made, as the average flash drive looks nothing like a JUUL or traditional vape rig.

*hits vape*

*hits vape* "wooow"

Many a publication has tried to unpack the teens’ torrid love affair with vapes. The New York Times blames companies like JUUL , Motherboard thinks coolness is the cause (kind of), and the Cut says it’s over (it’s not).

Thanks for playing folks, but there’s only one true explanation here: The teens are vaping because of all of the iconic vape Vines. Wake up America.

Even though Vine is dead and gone (RIP), its legacy lives on on YouTube and in the collective psyche of the nation. Watch this video of a bespeckled man whisper “Adam” as his life’s work is snatched from his grasp and tell me you don’t want to blow a mad cloud:

Same goes for this masterpiece of social commentary on the state of the e-cigarette industry:

Lest we forget this tasty piece of pro-vape propaganda:

Well this one isn’t technically a vape but you get the picture:

You know what they say: He who controls the Vines controls the teen fad cycle. Guess the FDA better get cracking on Vine2.

Vape or die, brah.